welcome to my mind...

..that's what I saw a lot of today. my first surgical med mission (4th med mission with the MuSigmaPhi) was....tiring, exciting, inspiring. I mean, how many first year med proper students get to assist in OPD surgical procedures as early as their 3rd month in med school? Cheska and me were allowed to help in circumcision and cyst excision--retracting, sponging, minor cutting (of connective tissues! haha)--that's all we were allowed to do pa lang. Although, we almost had the chance to excise a small cyst ourselves kasi one of the doctors asked "O, sino gusto mag surgery?", but we (or at least I) chickened out [which by the way was a good thing because the procedure turned out to be a bit tricky].
    One of the patients we were operating on had a lyphoma (tama ba?) on the forehead. Ninerbyos ako kasi biglang super nagbbleed! the doctor had assistants holding at least three hemostats on the edge of the incision to localize the source of the bleeding and it turned out na may nacut na artery (and yung supraorbital ata yun! haha). One of the other doctors advised na wag na lang ituloy kasi bka masyadong macomplicate (Ma'am Lirazan hahaha). But the doctor continued operating on the patient. Naligate naman on time ung artery  and i think medyo ninerbyos din ung doctor (UPCM batch '07 siya).. After the surgery, he said "See, if you think you made the right decision, never quit".
    So you see, kahit na 9am to 3pm ako nakababad sa room full of blood, lymphoma and sebaceous cysts... it was all worth it. Ang saya..

    I did make the right decision (one of the best decisons ever!). And I won't quit. :)

Oh God.
What do you do
when the person you've been dreaming to see
finally, finally, comes close enough
for you to actually hear his voice in person
to see what he really looks like
to listen to him sing the songs
you've been singing since you were in 6th grade
What do you do
When he finally comes
and you find out
that you just can't
YOU JUST CAN'T GO AND SEE HIM!!

O Cruel, cruel fate!
Am I destined then
to never set eyes upon my beloved?
To listen to his songs
only through my heart and through my earphones?
Why dost thou deny me so!
Why? Why? WHYYYYYY!!!!

_____________________________________

Sigh. Harry Connick Jr. Concert at the PICC, March 15. :(
Please Donate to my I-need-to-see-harry Fund. :((

it's been two weeks since i've reverted to writing in a diary. and it's one of the best decisions i've made so far. since discovering lj, i had traded in my old fashioned diary-writing days for the trendier habit of blogging. But months into it, i felt like i was stifled by the fact that when some idea strikes me (something i'd like to record and just HAVE to write down at that precise instant) i have to boot my laptop, connect to the internet and log on to my lj account. Sometimes, the thought of going through all that trouble makes me abandon the thought of writing altogether. And, paranoid as it may sound, i still keep thinking that my account may be hacked into by some psycho dude and my private posts (w/c are the most important) will be revealed for the whole world to see! (not that i hold the secrets of the universe or something, but STILL!). Ergo, going back to writing in a diary was the logical step to take. i mean, i can actually doodle again! and i can make my entries as long as i like them to be, as stupid or as illogical as i please, as honest and uncensored as i have a right to be.

i'll still be posting in my blog, though. You know, for broadcasting the things i'd like to brag and whine about; or to make parinig to certain people....or to share special experiences and such. But when it comes to those deep-dark-secrets-the-pentagon-would-be-envious-of, my diary is the only welcome audience. :)

The Puurrfect song for Twilight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Time is Running Out 
    by Muse

I think I'm drowning
asphyxiating
I wanna break the spell
that you've created

you're something beautiful
a contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

you will be
the death of me
yeah, you will be
the death of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
and our time is running out
you can't push it underground
we can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
but I'm restricted
I tried to give you up
but I'm addicted

now that you know I'm trapped
sense of elation
you'll never dream of breaking this fixation
you will squeeze the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
and our time is running out
you can't push it underground
we can't stop it screaming out
how did it come to this

you will suck the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
and our time is running out
you can't push it underground
we can't stop it screaming out

how did it come to this

last post before christmas...hmm....what to write, what to write.....

i'd like to write about the surprisingly fun class christmas party....
i'd like to write about the post-christmas dinner and how it made me feel thankful to have such beautiful friends....
i'd like to write about all the cool stuff i received from the correspondingly cool people who gave them....
i'd like to write about how unbelievably excited i am to spend christmas with my family again, at home, with our endearingly old christmas tree (it can still hold all the ornaments we hang on it...and considering our family, that's not something to scoff at haha)

but words just wouldn't do justice.
thank you.
love you.
merry chiristmas. :D

i love love love twilight by stephanie meyer...i'm looking forward to reading the rest of the twiight series. and now that they've casted Robert Pattinson of Cedric Diggory fame for the movie, i love it even more!

i've always had a thing for vampire novels (via, spare me the sexual comment)...not just the vampire-romance stuff. It actually started when i read Bram Stoker's Dracula. Then it progressed to Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian...and then to lighter stuff like Mary Janice Davidson's Undead Series (which, by the way, is laugh-out-loud funny!). I'm still deciding on whether i should engage myself in reading Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles...hmmm.....

Oh, and i was ecstatic to learn that a fourth book for the Twilight series (Breaking Dawn) will hopefully come out in 2008 :))

*sigh* vampire love.... c:

my favorite pasta dish in the whole wide world! (sadly, it's a rare occasion to find a restaurant that serves decent puttanesca :c )


(from Barbara Fisher's food blog, Tigers& Strawberries)

Puttanesca is a classic Neapolitan pasta sauce based on olives, tomatoes, capers and anchovies. The name comes from the Italian, “puttana,” which means, “whore,” and there are several different stories as to how and why the dish came by such a salacious name.

According to Paula Wolfert in her 1978 classic Mediterranean Cooking, one theory as to the origin of the name, “puttanesca” comes from the fact that the prostitutes in Naples would cook this pasta sauce as a “quick and lusty fortification,”  which also enticed customers off of the street with the seductive scent of olives, garlic and anchovies cooking. Another theory she proposes is that it is the perfect dish for a respectable married woman who is engaged in an illicit affair between the hours of five and seven in the evening. She can put the sauce ingredients together to marinate, then frolic with her lover for a few hours before running off to heat up the sauce and serve it up to her hungry and cuckholded husband.

It is also said that the reason it is named after prostitutes is that the ingredients are ones which are staple, and which are always available canned or preserved in some way. In the days when the brothels of Naples were state-run, there were only certain days and hours when the prostitutes were allowed to go out shopping for foodstuffs, so as to keep them from offending the respectable women in the marketplace. At these restricted hours, most of the fresh foods were gone, so the prostitutes became adept at making delicious sauces from those few items that were left in the markets.

I always was a bit skeptical of the idea that a whorehouse would need to entice customers with the smell of cooking, but now that I am a bit older, and I have had a bit more experience, and after taking into account we are talking about Italians here–folks who are all about food, sex, love and passion–I have rethought my position on the matter. There is indeed something distinctly seductive about puttanesca, something that fairly oozes sensuality, and makes one think naughty thoughts while cooking or eating it. The fragrance of it is lascivious and induces hunger on many levels, and the deep crimson sauce is inviting and velvety on the tongue.

Puttanesca is a full-bodied, bold sauce, vividly colored and lavishly perfumed.

That may be why it is named for prostitutes–it is unsubtle, vivacious, confrontational and alluring.

A wicked sauce for wicked women.

Or at least, women who are wicked at heart.

• Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (spoilers ahead)
  

                    Movies affect different people differently. I don't care what the critics say... i think Mr. Magorium's wonder Emporium is one of the better movies of 2007. I  guess when you look at it from a technical standpoint, it may be an average film. But there were things said in the movie that I really really found.....inspiring. I cried (yeah yeah stop calling me crybaby already). I laughed. i loved it.
                    If you have ever lost someone you really loved, i would suggest seeing this movie. When my grandmother passed away, not many people realized just how depressed i got. In the weeks that followed her death, i would sometimes lock myself in the bathroom. i'd just cry. i didn't want my sister to see....i just didn't think she would understand how truly devastated i was. and how much i missed my grandma. I was named after her, we had the same birthday and in many ways, we were alike. it was no secret in the family that i was her favorite. when we lost her, i lost more than a grandmother--i lost a confidante, defender, storyteller, personal cheerleader, inspiration,idol. i hated losing her....yes, that's the perfect word for it. I hated not having been there when she died. i still hate the fact that our last conversation was over the phone and that she passed away 2 weeks after our birthday. I still miss her. TERRIBLY TERRIBLY SO. There's a scene in the movie where magorium quotes King Lear and says that "At the end of act five, shakespeare only says 'He dies'. No metaphors.....We feel sad not because of those two words but because we remember the life that came before it." (may not be the complete quote) Another scene that particularly affected me was when Magorium said "I fell so completely in love with these shoes, I bought enough pairs to last my whole lifetime. This is my last pair. "
                         In the movie, Molly Mahone (Portman) thinks that she just might not have the "Sparkle" and that she's stuck with just having potential. Magorium says "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it". Inspiring line, especially for me. On one of my past entries, i wrote that i felt someone had stolen my magic. I'm still trying to get it back. And i AM trying to rise to the occasion.
                         This semi-movie-review doesn't do justice to the movie. I want the DVD version already!  Watch it. Pay attention to it. If you don't like it, i don't like you. (i'm only  half joking haha)
                       

• Conversation over cake and coffee

                   After watching the movie and obsessing over which pair of earrings to buy at the last day of the Get Happy sale,  my sister and i had dinner at Almon Marina (i recommend their sub sandwiches) and had cake and coffee at Secret Recipes as we usually do on sundays (except it was a friday :D). We got to thinking about the whole curfew thing and how it sucks. First off, no more late night studying at Starbucks or PanPacific (unless you plan to leave in the morning). No more night life in Malate! No more midnight runs to the nearby Mini Stop for ice-cream emergencies! In lieu of this, we thought up funny ways to escape being caught when breaking curfew. Doctors on duty are supposedly excused from said curfew...and it got us thinking that we could dress up in scrubs (with a stet pa of course haha) and if some police officer accosts us, we'd just say we were on duty! haha...OR, since not all watches are synchronized, we'd adjust ours to thirty minutes late....."But officer, it says 12 on our watch" (12:30 ang start ng curfew diba? not quite sure haha). I heard that the curfew thing is supposed to last for three months....and i thought, Pano na yung simbang Gabi??? But then central and south luzon lang pala.....and since i'd be going home north during the holidays, no worries :D.
          By the way, try the Chocolate Cheese at secret recipes....it's like dark truffle, the way it's supposed to be made (unlike the hard as rock version of TOSH!). Non-chocolate-obsessed people may find the sheer chocolatiness of this cake overwhelming and would then be better if shared with someone. The Apple Cheescake bars are good too....moist, warm, creamy and tangy from the apples. really good. :D So far, most of the cakes i've tried are Mommy-level good (she wouldn't be too happy to hear that....she's quite competitive haha), including white choco macadamia and caramel cheesecake. the only one that disappointed me was the Moist Chocolate cake. It was so-so.
                  

• Card-hunting and Butt grabbing

                  
                 I know this entry is getting quite long but i just have to share this. we were already home by 10:30 and my sister and i were talking about christmas gifts and she mentioned that she won't be giving this boy (let's call him Navi haha) a gift. and i said "Why not? You're with him when you study, you text everyday (yes, the word "text" has become a verb), why not give him a card or something at least?" She was persuaded and decided she just HAD to buy a card TONIGHT. I said, "pero malapit na magcurfew" and she said it won't take long. So we went out and walked to Natio (which was practically deserted already) to go Christmas card hunting. in our search for the perfect funny but i-didn't-want-to-look-desperate card, i stumbled upon a very cute card which was totally inappropriate for their relationship status--well at least not yet. But it was sooooo cute and sweet that when i showed it to my sister, she wanted to buy it and just keep it! it said:
   
                       (front)
                                       Classic Story.
                                           We met.
                                           We became friends.
                                           Then we became MORE than friends.
                       (inside)      
                                            I'm liking that last part a lot.
                        
                    After finally settling for a card that says "When Santa asked me if you were GOOD this year, i said NO..............you were Terrific!"  (I hope Navi isn't reading this haha), we started walking back home. while we were walking, i suddenly felt someone grab my butt! as in, i was super flustered! i turned around to see two dirty little boys laughing. AARRgggh, i told them "Batuhin ko kayo ng payong eh! San kayo nakatira?" They said "sa bubong, sama ka?" and i said "E kung Ipagiba ko kaya yung bahay nyo!" ...after getting over it, i just found the whole situation funny.....because it's the second time someone butt-grabbed me! the first time was in baguio, and it was a little boy once again! I mean, what's with the butt-grabbing business anyway?? There isn't even much to be grabbed for pete's sake!

          Overall, it was a fun and funny day....certainly a friday well spent c:

..getting happy :D

wahahahahahhahahahahahahahah

i am soooo ready to catch up on my (non-academic) reading...haaaayyyy....

it's been quite a while since I've been to a halfway decent booksale...that's why i went ahead and splurged on eight books ( i shaved some off my cart because i was afraid the bill would be too high hahaha) and it cost me 1300+ lang! A-amazing! hahaha

but i am soo tempted to start reading all of them na that i'm seriously afraid i won't be able to concentrate on the final exams i have yet to take...so i AGREED (note: this wasn't my idea) to 'give up' my bag-o-books to cybill..para she'll keep it until after the finals so i won't be tempted...sigh....double sigh....

oh well...at least i have a lot to look forward to.......can't wait for this sem to end.

CHRISTMAS! Ehhhvrywhere you go...take a look in the five and ten, glistening once again, with candy canes and silver lanes agloooowww! (dramatic pause)....It's beginning to a lot like Christmaaas! toys in every stoooore! But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will beeeee on your own front dooooor!.....
 
    So goes my own rendition of one of my favorite christmas songs..haaayy....i've been all giddy and excited for christmas ever since the last day of august ended.....hayy....it really is just the most wonderful time of the year. I didn't plan on writing a christmas post until about october, but i just really really felt like posting one. what really prompted me to make a post was when my sister and i went to natio...they're playing christmas carols na! weeheeee.....i couldn't hide my grin and even my sister was weirded out that i kept on walking with a silly smile on my face. I mean, sure, it's great when you listen to christmas songs on your laptop or player, but it's different when you hear it in the mall, or on the radio, or in starbucks....i don't know....it's just different...or maybe that's just me haha..

    Oh well.....back to writing my Hum paper.... *sigh*

pritchon! cybill! pritchon! cybill! hahaha

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

anyway, biolab was partly boring and partly fun.....eh kasi naman napunta samin yung theoretical part so all we had to do was offer our help to whomever needed it (which turned out to be like, none. haha). walang magawa talaga, kaya nangungulit na lng kami ng mga tao. lalo na si sir balolong! haha super laughtrip talaga yung thing with via and maam frisco....

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
HOY VIA! ikaw talaga! i swear pag ginawa mo pa ulit yun, sasabunutan na kita! buti nga si jo lang yung nandun....

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
hindi ako nabokya sa table tennis kanina! woohoo! raise the frickin' roof! hahahah....i totally expected to lose all the games, but surprise, surprise! buti na lang hindi pa naka warm up si serine nung naglaro kami, haha......i beat ser, ced beat me, but ser beat ced. haha go figure :D (ang galing ko chumamba! haha)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
pritchon! cybill! pritchon! cybill! pritchon! cybeeeellllllll!

....if people could get on my nerves that easily. I mean, there's the vampire bat masquerading as a fruit bat, and then there are those.....judgemental finger-pointers who throw sarcasm-laden questions.....i don't know....maybe every annoying little thing is magnified because i'm not getting as much sleep as i used to......

but i do thank God that i could hold my tongue in situations where i feel like bitching. at least for now, i could.

i wish, wish, wish that my patience doesn't run out....

just keep smiling maui, just keep  keep on freakin' smiling.


****************

on a lighter note....i am totally addicted to STAY WITH ME by Neyo. aahhhh. don't really know why....but it sounds like it should belong to the STEP UP movie soundtrack. It's currently my pick-me-upper. Especially now that rumors are going around that Wentworth Miller is gay. My Wentworth! GAY? wwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh..........

argh...my allergies are killing me.....my eyes are teary, my nose is runny, i'm running out of tissue and i can't concentrate on studying! i hate hate hate having allergic rhinitis......my head hurts, my hands are shaking, my limbs feel weak,,,,,,huhu......i just don't have time to be sick right now! :(

OMG. i am so addicted to online shopping sites. i can't stop. arrghh.

i just came home from the Volcorps GA meeting and was debating whether i should start preparing dinner for myself. one, i was kind of tired and sleepy. two, we had pizza (w/c was gigantic! memo to self: check out nero's pizza place) and palabok during the meeting so i wasn't really hungry. i decided to just go down and grab a cup of yogurt from ministop. So there i was, lined up at the cashier holding my mango yogurt, when a cacophony of children's voices broke out from behind me. i turned to look what was causing such a rucus, only to find seven or ten children crowding the ice cream area. they were all thin and scraggly and most of them had no slippers or shoes on--i realized with a start that they were street children. among them, a man who was wearing a cab driver's uniform was telling the children that they were only allowed to get one ice cream each. well it wasn't hard to conclude that the cab driver was treating all these children to some ice cream. the scene warmed my heart and i left ministop with a smile and a reflective mood.

*****
back in our room, the whole scene had me thinking about a few things. first, it made me happy to see enough evidence that there really are good people left in the world. second, it reminded me of the things that i should be thankful for. i've been kind of depressed lately, what with my dissatisfaction with my performance at school, homesickness, not to mention that im having my period w/c makes me all the more emotional (over sharing) and nonexsitent love life. the last one has just been magnified because of the sweet scent in the air these days--emanating from blissfully involved friends. don't get me wrong, i'm happy that you're happy (and i do like hearing about your double date escapades haha). but there it is--the depression.

so seeing how the little kids were getting so excited about having some ice cream, and the open kindness of the cab driver made me realize that there are a lot things happening in the world right now  that are far worse than what i'm whining about. at the same time, it made me see that there are a lot of things that i should be thankful for. good health, great family, wonderful friends, and with each sunrise, being a day closer to that MD...it made me realize that there are plenty of things to smile about... :)

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my legs hurt, a have a whole lot of wet and dirty stuff to unpack and i have yet to seriously study for the stat exam tomorrow...

......all because of the banahaw field trip. which was pretty damn fantastic!..

the trip going to banahaw wasn't exactly thrilling--i felt nauseous and i wanted to go to sleep but couldn't. So when we arrived, i was soo greatful to be out of the bus and into the sunshine! we were all revved-up and ready to go...

our first destination was the chapel of the Filipino Catholics. The forum was going well until the speaker mentioned the method of selecting the Pope as compared to how they select their leader. He insisted that the archbishops burned the paper on which they would write their nominee for Pope. He said that when white smoke emanated, that nominee is granted as Pope. Of course we know that this (SO) not true...several hands came up but in the end, the majority decided not to challenge the speaker...after all, as danni kept on saying, "it's all they have"...

then we went on to listen to the sister of the leader of the Mystica de dios...honestly, i was listening with half an ear because one, i was hungry (we hadn't had lunch yet) and two, i was distracted by the heat. After the sharing, we went on to have lunch. and after lunch, that's where the fun began...

the trek started pretty easy because of the downhill trail...but it got harder as we started to climb up the mountain..gosh! my thigh muscles were given a pretty good workout...but it was somehow exhilirating...i felt the indiana-jones-vibe and for a moment i got to pretend that i was some mountaineer, off to do some field work, haha!

strangely, i liked the hike up the mountain so i  felt kind of dissappointed when we had to stop because we had to prepare before entering the cave. we had to go barefoot so we walked all the way to the mouth of the cave with rocks and gravel stabbing at our feet. At last, when it was our turn to ener, we were surprised to find that the opening was quite narrow...but thankfully it was managable. it was dark and cool inside, with the walls seeming to close in on us. it got pretty exciting when we came to that famous narrow passage. i literally had to slither, push and pull myself through the passageway and thankfully i got through without any ermm...injuries (yay!)...haha...it was really narrow that's why we (gabe,nina *pronounced as 'ninya'--too tamad to find /enye/ haha**, me,via, cybill) called it the sexy test! woohoo! it was cool the way that we had to feel our way through the cave--it felt like being in those movies where the protagonists run from the (as gabe said) "bandits" haha...

and we finally surfaced, triumphant and proud to have passed thd sexy test! :D

the first batch who came out of the cave (there were like ten of us) went ahead to see the waterfalls...which turned out to be quite unfortunate because as we were hiking towards the location, it rained. it started out weak so we continued, not minding a bit of dampness. But then it suddenly poured! There still were no sheds within sight so we had no choice but to be soaked through to our skin,,,were cold and wet and kind of annoyed that no other batch followed us. We kept on the trail, this time relishing the rain, not caring that our rubber shoes were all squishy and our bags were soaking wet. it was quite an experience, hiking in thr rain. :D it was exhilirating :) [at least for me hehe]

we came to a shed and tried to wait for the other batch that was supposed to follow us. we figured we were wasting our time and not to mention daylight was fast fading, so we went on to the trail (oh and it stopped raining; it was actually quite sunny after the rain)...
the path to the waterfalls was paved (thank god!) but when we came to about 10 flights of stairs, we started to sigh and wonder how far the waterfalls was...

finally after reaching the foot of the stairs, we were at the river (or whatever) that flowed from the falls. we were quite hesitant to swim in the water because it was kind of murky..but after the initial hesitation, we found out that it was actually clear but because of the rain, it looked clouded. The water was wonderful! we let the cool water wash away the tiredness we felt....ahh...it felt really good.... :)


we lingered in the water, climbing over boulders to get to the "minifalls" and just had pure fun! and well, some of us got more than just fun (can u say romance? ahem cybill.. :D do you like levi's? haha)

after about thirty or so minutes, we were called back and so we had to face the formidable task of climbing back up the seemingly endless flight of stairs..gaahh! i can't remember the last time i breathed harder than when i was climbing those stairs! gosh! when we finally got back up and into the "village" as we named it, we went on and cleaned up, preparing to leave...


aah...back on the bus, we all felt tired but happy (must be the endorphins!)

reading this, one may think it was more tiring than enjoyable but all that changes when you factor in the people you experienced the whole thing with.. 

       alip (with her bleeding toe and kim stories haha) 
    balasbas (and the way his hair stayed the same even after swimming)
    decano (who kindly let me borrow her face towel :D)
    diestro (who kept cheering everybody on  and who ate a WHOLE LOT )
    gomez (who still caught up even when they were left behind)
    jimenez (who i learned today had stamina **usually nauuna sa kin haha**)
    medrano (who lost quite a lot **necklace and wallet** but was still laughing at the end of the day..aww)
    morales ( na pumoporma kay gabe and "sinabitan" ko while walking up the formidable stairs)
    nera (who was STILL smiling even through all the sweat-busting events)
    paner (who lost the gel in his hair and then naging fuzzy head na siya haha!)
    quezon (who wore a red bandana which i could spot from a quarter of a kilometer away haha)
    sembrano( laging tumutolong pag may nadudulas! woohoo!)
    tanchuling (whom were worried about kasi akala namin ni cy wala siya sa field trip! haha)
    te (who brought a friend na very helpful sa mga taong may cramps! haha)
    teo (who smiled so sweetly when i asked "alam mo?" haha) 
    uy (who had romance escapades and kahit na super thin ay nakayanana ang strenous activities!)
    ****and of course and mga super nice friends na dinala ni cy:
   
    gabe(super nakakatawa...andaming weird ideas and mga kwento..kakatuwa! sali din kami sa PI field trip nyo!)
    nina (again, /ninya/; love interest ni d****, nakakatuwa din, game na game; go ateneo! haha)

Like i said...pretty damn fantastic